Dear door to door evangelist,

I have a word of advice for you. When you walk up to a house that has toys outside, a half dug up rock garden, It's quite and you look in the window and see a woman dozing on the couch with toys scattered everywhere DO NOT RING THE DOOR BELL! She will not be very happy or receptive to your "saving" message if you wake her up, get the dog barking, and probably wake up her children from their nap, after she's been digging up a damn rock garden all morning and collapsed on the couch in front of tv and fell asleep.

In fact you're lucky, I was nice, I simply told you I have a church (Ok, not at the moment, but it sure as HELL will not be yours), and you just got the dog barking and probably woke up my children so I don't have time for this, before I slammed the door in your face.

If I'd been awake enough I'd have told you that not only have my IL's tried to "save" me in their religion. I have a few acquaintances from your church who have tried to "save" me, and my mother continually try's to "save" me by telling me I need to ignore the politics of her church, and just go. So far none of them have succeeded, what makes you think, you have a snowballs chance in hell, where I'm sure you're sure I'm going. Then I could have continued on my list of why you're particular religion would never be one I would choose for myself. Not to mention you're tactics have the adverse effect of you're actual goal on me. Maybe I'd listen to you if you picked up the shovel you walked by and got all the rocks out of the garden....Maybe, not likely, but maybe.

Thank you for your time.
One pissed off, tired, and sick housewife.