Update on Whishy washy, I mean the Dr.

So after stitting through his not very good explanation of a D&C, and the chances of the alternative pharmaceutical options working, and making a joke he SO didn't get (along the lines of well if you do an D&C and puncture the uterus, and have to do a hysterectomy, I might not mind if we've decided we're done with kids) . I looked at him and said, you're the Dr, you're the one with all the training. What do YOU recommend, and what would you recommend if this was you're wife or sister. Dr. whishy washy actually gave me an opinion.

So in addition to the yes you probably have an infection or if you don't you're very prone to one admittal (Hm ya think sitting the last week suspecting one helped anything while I talked to his nurse) and a prescription for an anti-biotic that I may or may not need (and I was too tired to fight this one). I have a prescription for some wonder drug that gives you really bad ass cramps, told to take up to 800mg of Advil every 4 hours, and I can fully expect another TWO weeks of bleeding. I plan to start the cramping pills Thursday (so you can expect some bitching and whining then) after I'm done working for the week.

And yes once again I'm wondering why did I have to pay $20 and pull DH out of work to go sit and talk to the man fully clothed, I mean there was this great invention a while back called a TELEPHONE.

So that being said other then the annoyance of just a little more then half way through a 6week period when I can't use tampons (Let's all say it together YUK) I'm actually doing pretty good. Emotionally I've pretty much finished having my little episodes of complete nuroticness, and I've actually been sleeping again. Not to mention I lost 4 lbs from last time I went to the Dr. And almost 10 since I found out I was preganat.

Hubby on the other hand I'm starting to worry about. In typical hubby fashion he has for the most part stuffed any feelings he's had and is now having his breakdown, but is trying not to. So also in hubby fashion his stomach is bothering him, and he's tired all the time. This is not very conducive to a major project they got going on at work. I honestly think he's having a harder time with me still bleeding then I am.

Dr. Rant ( Warning: M/C and way TMI mentioned)

So last weekend (week 3 after the miscarriage) I am still bleeding, and was starting to get concerned that I might have an infection, since I was having what might be other signs, which according to the internet is not uncommon, especially if you bleed past 2 weeks. So I wait till Monday and call the Dr. I leave a message with his nurse to that I'm not sure what I need to do have him call me. Nope, no call back. I call Tuesday morning, talk to the nurse (I knew he was not in the office that morning since I originally had my 12week apt scheduled for that day and had to change it, before the m/c) who says "let me see if he left me a message yesterday, Oh yeah he left an order for you to get a U/S done, I'll send it right over to the hospital so you can schedule it". So I wait an hour call the hospital and make an appointment for the next day (which was now Wed. ) per the order the Dr. Wrote on MONDAY.

I figured the Dr would call me Thursday with the U/S results. Nope I called at 3:30 Thursday saying hey can someone call me and let me know what's going on? No call. Friday morning around 11:00 I called AGAIN. Talked to the nurse AGAIN, who said, well he said you "could" consider a D&C......ooookaaayyy does that mean I need one? I should have one? Something's wrong? WTF? I'm not the Fucking Dr, how the hell am I suppose to know if I should have one done. She said well why don't I set up a pre-op apt on MONDAY for you. Write down all you're questions to ask him on Monday.

Lovely I get to pay another $20 co-pay to this freaking Dr who will probably once again not even do an exam. This is the THIRD time I will go to his office to "talk", both other times he looked at me and said "why are you here?" Um 1st time I'm f*ing bleeding during a pregnancy and the ER doc said to follow up with you, and the second time, I had a miscarriage you freaking moron. I thought you were "suppose" to come in especially since you gave me the "look" and didn't believe me when I told you I had one a year and a half ago and didn't go in.

****WARNING TMI FOLLOWS***********
So in the past week the other symptoms I was worried about are for the most part gone, but I've started passing tissue again, and the bleeding has gotten supper heavy again. Honestly it almost seems like it's starting over again although I haven't passed anything nearly as big as when I lost the baby. So now my mind is finding all these off the wall explanations, like I was pregnant with twins and this baby died first, but in my body's attempt to get rid of it I miscarried the other one who was perfectly healthy, or something wired like that.

I am SO done with this moron. I figure I'll "finish" the miscarriage with him because I honestly don't think I could get another Dr to see me right now, but after that I am SO done, and I plan to tell him next time he hires a nurse he should make sure that in addition to the cute perky blondes he seems to favor, he should make sure they have a brain and are responsible enough to deal with sensitive issues. Maybe if they're over 25 it will help.

SUPER HERO

I got this off Flutter's site, kind of cool.


If you liked this quiz then also try "Which Serenity character are you?" quiz
Your results:You are Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman 75%
Spider-Man 70%
Supergirl 55%
Robin 50%
Green Lantern 50%
Hulk 45%
Superman 40%
The Flash 40%
Iron Man 40%
Catwoman 35%
Batman 10%

You are a beautiful princesswith great strength of character.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Due to popular demand...more on the shirt

I ordered This one Just the basic woman's T-shirt. I'd post a picture, but since I a) can't find the camera, and b) am having another not put together day and haven't even brushed my hair yet (HEY I got dressed, in my old sweatshirt, but still, I'm dressed what more do you want) You'll probably have to wait till after the blowout.

It's here! It's here!

No not my sanity haha, My Blog Blowout shirt came today! Now I can be one of the cool ones too! ;-)

Is it really hopeless?

I recently made a decision that I'm going to try to be one of these put together mommies. You know the type, always stylish, wearing nice clothes, hair done, jewelry, and make up, even if they are just at story time at the library. You'd never catch them out in a stained t-shirt, or even just a plain t-shirt for that matter.

Last weekend I went shopping, I bought 2 button down shirts and one that's a basic shirt, but with gold beading on it, and a couple of cami's. This added to the brown wrap around shirt I bought a week ago, I figure at least I won't need to bring any stained t-shirts to Austin with me. (Don't get me wrong, I still totally expect to turn up on Kami's FUG Thursday after the blowout, who knows maybe I'll learn something, like on "What Not to Wear")

This morning I get #1 off on the bus, get dressed in one of my button down shirts, jeans. I didn't put my boots on because, well, I figure tennies are good enough to do laundry in and I'll change if I leave the house today. I tried to do my hair and it flopped, I tried to do my make up and #2 decided to come and "help". #2 wanted to then wrestle and do our "exercises" (sit ups) together. I'm sure the back of my shirt is now completely wrinkled. I haven't spilled on myself yet, although I haven't eaten lunch or done dishes yet.

Maybe those mommies only wear nice clothes when they actually go out, but how do they have time to go out after doing their hair and makeup? I mean we didn't even make it to the library today. Perhaps I'm just destined to be a stained t-shirt mommy.

Or perhaps it could just be that I woke up late, found #1 naked on his floor cocooned in his blankets because he wet his bed, and #2 while refusing to potty train anymore today had a poopie diaper that he played with and half the poop came out of the diaper and fell into the leg of his pants. It was all over when I discovered it. Yeah that's it. Tomarrow I'll be put together AND make it to the library, I will I will!

Note to child #2

Dear son,
While I realize you are at an age of great changes, becoming aware of you're bodily functions, and that you are only trying to lighten my work load. Please in the future consult either myself or you're father when it is time to change you're poopie diapers. I don't mind if you change you're wet ones by yourself, and you are quite good at it, but you don't yet have the capabilities to change the poopie ones without creating a nightmare for mommy when she get's out of bed that morning. Honestly it's more then this mother can handle first thing in the morning. I also appreciate that you understood to sit on the potty when you took you're diaper off. But next time make sure the poop side is up, not on the floor, and that you wipe the remnant poopy off you're but BEFORE sitting down.

I will make you a deal. I will venture to the store with you and you're brother today, buy you some real underwear, plastic pants, pullups for night time and for venturing out. I will accept a weeks worth of accidents and mistakes, during what might be one of the more disgusting periods of time in a mother's life, if you promise not to drag this into a 1 1/2 year ordeal like you're brother did.

Thank You
You're mother.

My blowout details

Ok, here's the scoop on me. My plane get's in Friday night around 4:30, and I'm staying near the Oak Hill area, and gee darn Garden ridge :-)

If anyone wants to get together Friday night/ Sat Morning/ Sun (not too early) let me know, I'd love to see everyone's kiddo's while I'm there. The only things I need to do, besides the blowout of course, are drive by the old house and see if they have it looking nicer then we did. Go to Rudy's for breakfast one morning, and try to somehow get Rudy's lunch back home for hubby and his co-workers. Also if it's nice on Sun, I was thinking of trying to go to Mt. Bonnell (sp?) since it's one of the things I always wanted to do and never did when we were living there, but that would be exersize and I don't want to push myself too hard on vacation ;-) Who knows mabey a lunch at central market or something too.

There is a chance a friend of mine will be coming. I was telling her about it last night at work and she looked very wistful, and said she would love to do something like this, so I told her to come along. She's talking about it with her DH.

This is sad, I'm getting almost giddy over this. I realized that this is really the first trip I've taken by myself since I got married. And no trip to austin to buy our house doesn't count since that was an in and out deal and hubby made all arragments for me.

Yeah, thanks but no thanks

Amazing how my mother has such a major hold over me still. I knew she wouldn't like the idea of me going to blog blowout,(for a long list of her own reasons) so I figured I'd tell her when she calls and get it out of the way. And no I can't just not tell her. I talk to her too much.

So anywho, after the whole, why are are you going? If you need it that badly, and are that stressed mabey you need "professional help" Why don't you find a miscarriage support group (um it has nothing to do with that, well not alot to do with that), well you really can't afford it etc, etc. she had a brilliant idea. She thinks I should go down and stay with her and my dad in their RV (where they are for the month of Feb) in FL. Um no that would not exactly be the fun relaxing weekend I'm looking for. More like an intervention, with a suprise trip to a shrink's office and a bottle of Pozac, which I would need if I'm living in a motorhome with my mother for 4 days.

Not that I don't get along with her, but my mom and I are very diffrent and deal with stress diffrently. She still won't belive me that I'm handeling the miscarriage ok, because after 30 years she still hasn't delt with the one she had. When I had it (and they were here) she expected me to be mopping about, didn't think I should go to work, didn't understand why I needed too etc.

So now I'm walking around second guessing my decision if I should really go or not, but hey I found a cheap hotel today, so I just need to buy the plane tickets. I think it's too late to not go right ;-)

Oh and Kami, thanks for the offer of crashing with you guys but I think I'll be there Fri/Sun nights too, and I did find a hotel with good reviews for $35 Yippee!

Poor kid. He just doesn't get it

We went outside today to play in the snow we got last night. In order to coax the boys in (yes I was freezing, they were fine) I promised them hot chocolate. #2 kept taking a drink and saying, oh oh mommy, it's hot

Poor kid didn't even finish it becaue "it's hot mommy" He just doesn't get it. And no it wasn't too hot, in fact it was barley warm, I checked, twice.

Defintaly need the blowout (and also a few blowout questions)

K, talked to hubby today, researched all the airfares (although haven't bought one yet, I always hate to actually buy one...like they might go down in a week or something) Looks like I get to drive 70 miles to fly to Austin, when I live 10 minutes (no kidding) from the airport. Does anyone know why the Cincy airport is so expensive???? All I can think is I know Delta's been having issues and they are the main carrier here. Oh well an extra 2 hours of quiet.

So now the questions....For all the out of townies, when are you going? How long are you staying, Where are you staying? For the in towines, Are you planning on just doing blogger stuff on Sat night, or the whole weekend? I was thinking of flying in Friday afternoon/evening, and Leaving Monday. The way I figure it I should fly down no later then Friday so I am sure to make the party Sat night. If no one is going to be around Sunday I might leave then, but now that I think of it, I might just take the day to chill by myself somewhere warm, even if no one is going to be around. And you know me I must be the last one to leave a party ;-)

Only think I REALLY need to try to do is somehow get Rudy's back to hubby and his co-worker..um yeah that's going to work ;-)

Oh and the reason I decided I need to go. I got my first Evite in over a year today *snif*snif* just brings back old times with (semi) normal people.

Austin HERE I COME....Well mabey

OK, I haven't actually informed hubby I'm going and I have a few details I need to iron out at home first, (by the way hubby, if you read this before I talk to you I think I'm going...talk to me!)but I'm going to try to make it to the blogger blow out. Hubby went to bed tonight telling me I should go, basically saying it's cheaper then 6 months of prozac, and psyc apts. And when I called a friend on the west coast (thank god for the time difference, so I do have a friend I can call at midnight) she also told me if my sanity needed it I should go. So I'm figuring, after a beer and another one of thoese damn cookies from the bakery that are WAY too good, they both can't be wrong.

Now I'm off to offically sign up, as a mabey and try to find out all the info, like is everyone staying at one hotel? What are the set plans? Who's all going to be there? etc, etc, etc. I also need to make sure hotel and car rental will fit into the budget, but hey that's what credit cards are for right?

I really hope this pans out. It will be so much fun!

Yup I live in Hickville USA

I got thinking today I could really use a night out, so I figured I'd go to the movies, by myself, tonight. I really really want to see Brokeback mountain. Not that hubby and I get out together much, but this is one of the few me only movies out there right now. I try not to waste the few we both want to see on me nights.

I looked up when and where it's showing...ONLY 1 theater in the area has it. For that I have to drive 17 miles, and through countless not so great neighborhoods to an area I haven't been before.

Oh well. Guess it will just be an exciting adventure to the grocery store for me tonight:-)

Geesh what happened to airfare's?

I was like totally considering coming to the Austin Blog blowout, and when I first checked prices it would have been like $230, now the cheapest fare is almost $400 and that's if I come into an airport 70 miles away from my house. Bummer, guess that made the decision for me. Oh well.

We had a victory on #1's bedroom redo we're in the process of. We decided to be brave an pull down the paneling in his room and low and behold, NO GLUE YAY!!!!!!!! We were slightly concerned that they may have glued the stuff to the plaster walls and the entire wall would have come with the paneling, but nope, just a bunch of nail holes to fill. We may actually finish this project some day. Hubby and the boys are out buying me more patching compound (I ran out) and blue paint for the sky...i.e. Ceilings. Just need to finish patching/sanding the wall that was paneling, wash the walls, and we're done with the demo mode, and onto decorating YAY!

Now if only Hubby can pick out an acceptable shade of blue for the sky. ;-)

ooookkkaaayyyy

#1 didn't go to school today. Or should I say Wouldn't go to school today. The last few months he's been saying he doesn't want to go, but has been fairly easily talked into it. And when the bus shows up he's out of the house and on the bus in a flash. Well today he said he didn't want to go first thing when I told him he needed to get dressed (normal) and that was it till the bus came. The bus pulled up he ran half way down the drive way and stopped. He would not get on the bus. Ok, this is weird, but whatever, I'll bring him when/if he calms down.

The bus left and he had a meltdown because he wanted to ride the bus. Um yeah too late dude. So after a long conversation we decided mommy should just bring him and then he could ride the bus home. We get to school, get to the office, he's clingy, but seems ok with it till on of his teacher's assistant's shows up to bring him to his class. Nope not going, wants to go home, even though he's aware that if he goes home he will be laying down for a long time. So we walk out of the office, and meltdown time again...I Wanna go to school, I wanna go to my class. Um yeah too late again, I'm not bringing him back in so he can fuss when his teacher tries to bring him to class. So home we go, he has a HUGE meltdown, gets his race car taken away till after lunch time when the bus would normally bring him home, and lays down for an hour on his bed.

Now he is up, playing perfectly nicely with his brother, and other then an occasional "mommy, I want to go to school" seems to be in a perfectly normal mood.

I asked for his teacher to give me a call today, but I'm really hoping he just decided to see if I'd call his bluff, which I did and that will be the end of it for a while. ... I hope. I have asked his teacher about the not wanting to go thing and she doesn't have a clue of why either.

Why? NO! Why? NO! Why? NO!

The chorus of the last two day's #1 is Why? Why?Why? Why? why?. #2 is NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I even heard the dreaded words "because I said so" come out of my mouth the other day.

We are in the process of turning #1's nice ordinary bedroom with old lady teddy bear boarder's and lace curtains into a true little boy's jungle room. Unfortunatly I don't think #1 get's the fact that this will probably take us a month since I "think" we are going to be brave, or stupid enough to try removing the ugly faux brick paneling. We know for a fact that it is covering a plaster wall, and common sense says it's probably there becaue it was cracking so badly.

I'm bored today. I was geared up to have my daycare kids, but due to forcasted rain this afternoon that ain't happening. #2 needs to do something since he just got himself half dressed and brought me his shirt for help, and I'm still in my jammies.

Oh well probably go to the store and see if I can find a new exersize video that looks exciting. I'm not doing the whole New Year's resolution thingy, but my friend JK sent me this link http://www.busymommawellness.com/ , and while I didn't plan on exersizing right now I am starting to watch carbs with hubby again, so I might as well try it all.

Well I'm off to get moving for the day. With any luck I'll make it out of the houes before I have to come home to meet #1's bus.

Ugg and spell checker's acting up. Sorry to all perfectionists and English major's.

Time to snap out of it

I found my wallet yesterday. It was in my makeup case. I'd be the only one who would do that, but I still don't know WHY I'd put it there. Oh well at least #2 didn't throw it into the Christmas boxes or worse the garbage.

I do think it's time for me to come too. I had a great night at work last night as it was slow and we were all slap happy. And actually had a fairly good nights sleep.

Today I get to sit down and make out a new budget. We gave up on our old one a month ago and so now it's time to make a new one. I just didn't have the energy till now. Plus I need to find enough money to replace our vacuum that just died on us today. On Monday I need to go back to trying to stay on hubbie's low carb diet with him, or I'll gain back any weight I lost. Not to mention he'll probably do better if I stop tempting him, and he's gained back most of the weight he lost. So off I am to make a "healthy" grocery list and meal plan for next week again. If ya got any meal ideas (low carb - vegetarian - and easy) let me know.

I'm just F*ing FINE!!!!!!

If one more quasy aquaintance asks me how I'm doing I think rather then telling them I'm doing ok I'll tell them the truth. I'm great during the day, Can handle everthing, think well this is what was "ment to be" and keep a business face on when looking for answers or talking to my Dr, and I am even starting to entertain the idea of mabey still trying for another one.

At night I'm a freaking nut case. I haven't had a good nights sleep in a week. Last Thursday I was up because I was worried about bleeding so much. Every night since Friday I can't sleep. Either I start bawling, get pissed off, or drink too much (ok, only did this once to help me sleep and it didn't work) and feel slightly hung over the next day....even if it was only 2 small mudslides. Last night was the topper though. I actually FELL asleep at a decent time and woke up in the middle of the night with the cramps from hell everyone promised me was coming. Actually they came yesterday morning, but went away after I called hubby home from work only to return this morning at 3:30 am to keep me up till 5. I will say if this is the shit people feel after or during child birth I will more then happily stay with my nice neat c-sections that they give ya a great pain pill afterward thank you.

I did have a bit of joy in telling off the manager at work yesterday when I called in. I went in last Sunday, because I was fine...during the day, but called in yesterday because of the cramps that wouldn't allow me to get 2 steps away from my heating pad. the conversation went something like this.

Me: Hi I won't be able to come in today
Him: Why
Me: I don't feel good
Him: what's wrong (WTF does he think I'm one of the moron teenager's that doesn't ever come in???????)
After my quick thinking I decided not to lie but to call his bluff.
Me: Well I had a miscarriage last Friday and even though I was able to come in on Sunday, I am now having some risidual problems..
Him. Oh ok

I will say it took everything in me to not go into extreame detail about the cramping and bleeding, and how our uniforms require tan pants, and how that's not exactly condusive to me working last night....but I didn't I restrained myself.

On another note that sucks I cannot find my wallet, I'm sure it's somwhere in my house, but the question is where. Last I remember having it was Monday night when DH and I were out, but I don't belive I even took it out of my pocket. Plus no one has tried using my cards yet. What I really think might have happend is #2 tossed it along with everything else lately in the garbage can, and yes trash pickup was this morning,a nd I didn't think of this as a possibility untill after the fact. It may have also gotten packed up with Christmas decorations, so we'll be searching there tonight!

I'm not spell checking today, because I don't really give a shit. Hmm I think possibly I'm in the anger stage of dealing with life today. Anywho. Hope you all have a good New Year, and I'll really try to be in a good mood and post my new outlook on Christmas next time. I know you're all on the edge of your seats waiting for it!

ADVERTISMENT - Photo purse

My SIL has started making these purses and selling them. She also makes them like a quilt type thingy without the photos.

Honestly I don't know what the prices are, but I thought they were very cool. If anyone wants more info let me know and I'll give you her email. I'd post it, but well she doesn't know I have a blog, and I'd like to keep it that way. She'd probably kill me if her email got harvested.